I had re positioned myself to take God place. I had tricked myself or better, lied to myself that I could run my life and a few other lives too! I had to surrender but of course didn know how. Playing God is painful for me, it was that pain that brought me back to my knees and back in line…

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Sounds like good, old fashioned, depression to me; and, very familiar. I guess we don't know exactly how things matter. Like are we here simply to introduce plastics into the universe? Was I put here so my ex could leave me as her one act of «finding herself?» Every time I'be tried to screw my way to enlightenment, I'm told I'm «afraid of commitment,» or I'm a «man whore» but I digress…

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